


Stop Me (Before I Go Overboard)

by handschuhmaus



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Ongoing Joke in the Manga Endnotes/Bonuses, drabble-ish, in which Palpatine is the voice of relative sanity, pathetic lifeforms, reference to Alphonse & the cats, these two are my muses now I swear, they're alchemists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 04:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1765345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the highly unlikely event of his ever being reduced to a soul trapped in a suit of armor by means of a rune and thereby losing his sanity, there are certain things Hego Damask wants his apprentice to ensure he never does...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Me (Before I Go Overboard)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rizascupcakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizascupcakes/gifts), [pileofsith](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pileofsith).
  * Inspired by [Seafood-Dyas](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/54463) by pileofsith. 



> This is ridiculous crack that came from my thinking similarities exist between Ed and Plagueis... as completely absurd as that sounds.
> 
> I've only read the first 5 volumes of FMA thus far, but this isn't really attempting compliance and is all in reference to the ongoing cat antics in the end bonuses, so it's quite silly.

"Under no circumstances am I to be allowed to do _that_ ," Hego Damask announced with all sincerity, poking his finger at one paragraph on the page.

Palpatine raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that these are collected anecdotes of uncertain veracity? It seems rather farfetched that any of these actually happened--" he caught sight of the glare his teacher was giving him and stopped himself speaking.

" _Nevertheless_ , there exists the remote possibility that the fancy of adopting some lonesome cephalopod--such as appeared in my lunch the other day--should posess me under such circumstances, were I reduced to such a desolate state as Fullmetal's brother, and the notion is quite intolerable. You are not to permit it, Palpatine."

"That was a mistake, Master," the young redhead corrected, affecting righteous offense. He barely stopped himself muttering, _And did not justify your replacing all our vegetables with dried seaweed, not among my favorites._ "Besides, even in the highly unlikely event that you _should_ be reduced to such a form, your much detested cephalopods are water-dwelling creatures and likely would not fare well out of the water. And I have not known you to venture into the sea, anyway"

"Hmph," Damask grunted, ceding to logic, and put aside the record of rumored incidents in favor of other volumes which might hold the information they sought.

**Author's Note:**

> I should surely also admit that this grew out of my ongoing thoughts regarding Plagueis & Sideous's visit to the Seafood-Dyas restaurant, a bit of fancy from the glorious mind and pens of pileofsith.


End file.
